(no subject)

im tired of my brain and the way it works and i think i wanna fuck with it more because i can never get what i had back so i think i wanna try meds

i don't know when to start really though

im slowly regaining function of my hand which has been nice because i can do things i like again

also what if going on meds removes my bad thoughts but then i wont have any creative inspo to derrive from them since they'll be gone but maybe ill think about my past instrusive thoughts

my life has been fucking boring lately which is honestly good because an interesting life is not necessarily fun when its stressful and chaotic

i keep thinking of things i want to more seriously write about but then promptly forgetting

the murmurs outside my window are getting quieter as my music gets louder

maybe ill draw w my oil pastels rn instead of attempting to do work