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It's weird when your body wakes you up with a sense of urgency usually initiated by an alarm. Within a millisecond my mind had already run the full gamut of anxieties-- did I sleep in--"sorry i totally forgot to set my alarm for the right time--oh my god he's gonna hate me.
I got up to check the time: 8:59. I swiped it away when I unlocked my phone to turn it off.
I started my day the way I usually do-- back in bed to rest for an extra ten minutes and check my phone. I finally got up, changed, took a shit, and brushed my teeth. It was around then he texted me to say he couldn't meet in person. I got my breakfast (nasty buckwheat pancakes topped with blueberries, remnant potatoes, lots of bacon, and overcooked bagged eggs) and continued to text him.
I probably texted him for about 45 minutes, maybe an hour, I'm not sure. When he stopped replying, I practiced bass for a bit.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I got my lunch but didn't eat it because I can't stomach the dining hall meals these days, especially the shitty ones. I then had zoom class and it was hard to pay attention and I doodled for most of it. I think I did some work after but I can't remember. I got dinner, ran into Lydia, asked if she wanted to eat with me even though she clearly had plans with someone or else why would she be here but then realized we could have a meal together Thursday or Friday (which we scheduled but I ended up flaking on because my tomorrow is too uncertain).
I then went to the bracelet making workshop and made some for M and H. I floated for a bit after instead of going to my dance workshop, spending some time with S and James "doing work" and then saw Maddie to say bye before break.
I ran into Jess on my way to MLibrary to work with Benny, and I peeled with laughter when she said Margot was trapped in the glass and could not escape. To laugh unrestricted, without care, with ease, is to peel with laughter, to peel back layers of yourself to reveal a pure emotional response.
I half assed my assignment pretty fast, and spoke with Benny a bit, which was nice. Got some late night free food, then went back to shower and have covid anxiety when some guy mentioned he was sick while I was showering. I hope I can stay safe until I go home, because I can't afford to bring it home and can't afford to get it again.
I had a billion thoughts in the shower about what to write about tonight, and a billion thoughts during the day. I'll probably write something else before I go to sleep.
I got up to check the time: 8:59. I swiped it away when I unlocked my phone to turn it off.
I started my day the way I usually do-- back in bed to rest for an extra ten minutes and check my phone. I finally got up, changed, took a shit, and brushed my teeth. It was around then he texted me to say he couldn't meet in person. I got my breakfast (nasty buckwheat pancakes topped with blueberries, remnant potatoes, lots of bacon, and overcooked bagged eggs) and continued to text him.
I probably texted him for about 45 minutes, maybe an hour, I'm not sure. When he stopped replying, I practiced bass for a bit.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I got my lunch but didn't eat it because I can't stomach the dining hall meals these days, especially the shitty ones. I then had zoom class and it was hard to pay attention and I doodled for most of it. I think I did some work after but I can't remember. I got dinner, ran into Lydia, asked if she wanted to eat with me even though she clearly had plans with someone or else why would she be here but then realized we could have a meal together Thursday or Friday (which we scheduled but I ended up flaking on because my tomorrow is too uncertain).
I then went to the bracelet making workshop and made some for M and H. I floated for a bit after instead of going to my dance workshop, spending some time with S and James "doing work" and then saw Maddie to say bye before break.
I ran into Jess on my way to MLibrary to work with Benny, and I peeled with laughter when she said Margot was trapped in the glass and could not escape. To laugh unrestricted, without care, with ease, is to peel with laughter, to peel back layers of yourself to reveal a pure emotional response.
I half assed my assignment pretty fast, and spoke with Benny a bit, which was nice. Got some late night free food, then went back to shower and have covid anxiety when some guy mentioned he was sick while I was showering. I hope I can stay safe until I go home, because I can't afford to bring it home and can't afford to get it again.
I had a billion thoughts in the shower about what to write about tonight, and a billion thoughts during the day. I'll probably write something else before I go to sleep.
