Crying on a Saturday Night

[weepingcrab]

I don't really have many healthy outlets for my feelings. I kinda just let them happen to me and wallow in them. The worst part is that the anger and jealousy and pain and sadness I feel aren't really that valid, but yet I feel them. It's not valid because no one owes me their friendship. I just want to scream and cry and let the tears roll down my face because it's freezing cold and I want them to be a permanent fixture on my face so that people can see that I'm hurting and I still hurt every day in little ways even though overall, I'm doing better than I ever had here.

Comments

[michaelboy]

Your pain is valid. It has nothing to do whether or not someone owes you their friendship. So young one, I see and recognize it, even from way over here and it matters.

[weepingcrab]

I appreciate that. Sometimes I do realize that my pain can be self-created because I realize that how I perceive a situation is a complete distortion of the reality of it, causing a lot of emotional dysregulation that can probably be avoided. It's hard, but I'm working on it.